Come ho ottenuto l'alloggio universitario per la mia misofonia
"Mi ha fatto sentire un po' più umana" Alloggi per la misofonia al college [immagine di soQuiet]
“Sii confuso, è dove inizi a imparare cose nuove. Essere spezzati, è dove inizi a guarire. Sii frustrato, è dove inizi a prendere decisioni più autentiche. Siate tristi, perché se siamo abbastanza coraggiosi possiamo ascoltare la saggezza del nostro cuore attraverso di essa. Sii quello che sei in questo momento. Non ci si nasconde più. Tu sei degno, sempre.”
As a university student, things are already hard as it is without the added adversities of your personal life. The stress and anxiety around homework, studying, grades, exams, and the seemingly never ending path to reach your end goal of getting your degree is a lot to deal with!
Nel mio primo anno di università, ho pensato che sarebbe stata un'idea brillante seguire un corso completo di 5 lezioni. Occhi luminosi e ottimista, che esce direttamente da liceo, non avevo dubbi nella mia mente di essere più che in grado di gestire così tanti percorsi. Tuttavia, mi sono subito reso conto che questo era troppo sul mio piatto e la mia salute mentale ha iniziato a declinare rapidamente, anche il mio Misofonia symptoms got worse.
Ho notato che sono diventato più sensibile ai miei suoni attivanti ed ero molto meno tollerante a stare in un ambiente con loro. Sono diventato una versione aggravata di me stesso; una versione appartata e sensibile di me stessa. Soprattutto nelle mie lezioni e durante gli esami, era incredibilmente difficile concentrarsi su qualsiasi cosa dicesse il professore perché, una volta che sentivo un suono attivante (che era per la maggior parte della lezione, ovviamente), era la fine della mia capacità di attenzione e l'inizio della mia lotta con la misofonia for that class.
I would stay up until extremely late hours of the night crying and having an existential crisis over the overwhelming amount of homework I still had even after studying for so many hours without a break. There was no time to just breathe and have a moment for myself. I felt as though I was the only one who couldn’t handle the workload. It seemed that every other student around me was perfectly capable of handling such an intense course load all while being able to accommodate time for their hobbies and self care. It felt like I was the helpless, sensitive little fish in the sea of intelligent, accomplished whales.
On one of those many nights when I had to stay up really late working on some incredibly hard math homework, my mom came into my room and asked me what was wrong and what I needed help with.
Finally, all the tension and pressure I had been experiencing for the past month just emptied out in a loud rage as tears dropped quickly onto the pages of my math homework. I told her I couldn’t handle the amount of work I had signed up for partly because it was simply too much, but mainly because my mental health was rapidly in decline as it was getting harder and harder to live with the increased sensitivity of my Misophonia due to the overwhelming stress.
“It’s 2 am and here I am doing this, doing this stupid math homework I’ve been working on for hours. All because I couldn’t focus in class so I missed half the lecture, ‘cause the sounds hurt me mom, they hurt me. They rob me of all my attention and torture me. I can’t handle this anymore, do you understand?” I told her.
It was a toxic cycle of having to keep up with school and having to keep up with the battle with Misophonia. In order to keep up with school, I had to keep my Misophonia in check which was, and still is, tremendously difficult.
Once I told her of my pain and difficulties of having to go through school with Misophonia, she was at first confused about what I was experiencing but she reassured me that I could ask for help at my university and that it would be in my best interest to drop a class for the sake of my mental sanity.
Quella è stata la prima volta che ho detto a uno dei miei genitori che avevo la misofonia ed è stato così sollevante ammettere finalmente che la vita era dura, non era sotto il mio controllo, ma che le cose potevano essere sotto il mio controllo se solo avessi ammesso di aver bisogno di aiuto.
Now, the journey to get that help and control began… even if ever so slowly.
“La mia salute mentale era in rapido declino poiché stava diventando sempre più difficile convivere con l'aumento della sensibilità della mia misofonia a causa dello stress opprimente. ”
Trovare risorse per l'alloggio nella mia università
I knew my biggest struggle was writing exams in a big lecture hall with hundreds of other students right beside me. The problem with this, as you can imagine, was that the lecture hall was essentially an echo chamber (due to its massive size to fit hundreds of students) where all the sounds of the students writing their exams rang in my ear hundreds of times over, teasing me, tormenting me, jumbling all the perfectly organized information in my head into a disastrous ball of clutter and second guessing.
As a result of being distracted and frustrated by my activating sounds, it took me a substantially longer amount of time to finish my exams. Sometimes, I wouldn’t even be able to finish many of the questions because I was so anxious and upset by the sounds in the room and being in such close proximity with other students! I knew I needed two things: more exam time and headphones to write all my exams. With this, I simply started my journey to get help by searching up “exam accommodations” at my specific university on Google.
I found a webpage about my school's accommodation program which included information about where I needed to go on campus to talk about getting accommodations as well as some information about what accommodations were and who qualified for them.
The next day, I went to the specified building and room mentioned on the accommodations webpage and talked to the secretary about wanting to get exam accommodations. She said I would need to first get a doctor's note to explain my need for accommodations, then sign some documentation, and then finally set up a meeting with an accommodations advisor to organize my accommodation needs for my exams.
It was a long process before I could get my accommodations, but I was determined and started immediately.
Going to see my doctor
The hardest part of this process for me was getting the doctor's note, not in the sense of actually going to get the note, but talking to my doctor about Misophonia and admitting it was something that was a major problem in my life which was now affecting me in my academics amongst many other things.
“So what brings you in today?”, the words “I have Misophonia” spilled out of my mouth with a sense of embarrassment yet relief. She looked at me with a blank stare and a silent moment passed by. “I’m sorry, what do you have?” She asked. To my surprise, she had never heard of Misophonia before I came into her office.
“Misophonia. It's the sensitivity to certain sounds.” I replied as I showed her the wikipedia page for Misophonia on my phone.
Si è presa un secondo per guardare la pagina e capire la mia situazione. Le ho detto che la misofonia mi stava influenzando molto a scuola e ha causato molta della mia ansia e stress nei miei studi, che è esattamente il motivo per cui ero seduto lì nel suo ufficio e avevo bisogno del suo certificato medico. Mi ha chiesto di spiegarle esattamente come mi colpisce quotidianamente a scuola e così gliel'ho detto, coraggiosamente.
It was extremely hard to verbalize the Misophonia mentality and experience not just to my doctor, but also in front of my mom, whom I allowed to come into the room with me so that she could also hear my troubles.
Descrivere ad alta voce tutte le mie sensibilità mi ha fatto sentire alienata dagli altri due esseri umani nella stanza e ho pensato tra me e me: "Wow, quanto sono fortunati a non relazionarsi assolutamente con nulla di tutto questo". Tuttavia, ero grata che entrambi fossero disposti ad ascoltarmi, capire cosa stavo passando e alla fine farmi ottenere il certificato medico di cui avevo bisogno. Mi ha fatto sentire un po' più umana.
“"Ho la misofonia" mi uscì dalla bocca con un senso di imbarazzo ma di sollievo.”
Alla ricerca di alloggi per la misofonia al college
My biggest advice when talking to your doctor about experiencing Misophonia is to, firstly, be sure they are aware of what Misophonia is. If they are not sure of what the condition is or have never heard of it, guide them to some trusted resources such as the articles found on the SoQuiet site which clearly describe and explain Misophonia.
Sfortunatamente, la misofonia non è ancora ampiamente conosciuta o riconosciuta come una condizione medica grave ed è molto scioccante sapere che molti medici sono ancora inconsapevoli o non istruiti sulla condizione. Pertanto, è estremamente importante portare avanti le tue conoscenze e risorse su Misofonia to those people who are unaware of it.
Secondariamente, clearly describe your sensitivities to your doctor. Even though it may be difficult at first, having full transparency with your doctor about what bothers you and what doesn’t can greatly help clarify your experiences with Misophonia.
Infine, descrivi come e perché la misofonia ti colpisce quotidianamente. Pensa a un elenco di tutte le situazioni in cui la misofonia ti inibisce dal funzionare normalmente, cambia il tuo umore, cambia il modo in cui agisci e ti fa semplicemente sentire a disagio. A tale scopo, è possibile mantenere un misofonia giornale di registrazione trigger which can help organize your thoughts, feelings, and triggers associated with Misophonia.
“Infine, descrivi come e perché la misofonia ti colpisce quotidianamente.”
This will give your doctor a sense of the magnitude of the problem and it will help clarify your specific experience with Misophonia. I understand that talking about Misophonia and your specific situation with it is incredibly difficult, especially for those of us who suffer in silence most of the time, however it is so vital in getting the help you need to get your accommodations.
Doing the serious paperwork + meeting with an advisor
After I obtained the prized note from my doctor, I was just a few signatures away from getting the accommodations that I had been hoping for. I went back to the same accommodations office a few days later, gave them my doctor's note with the signed documentation they required me to sign. After I did this, they approved me for accommodations and they set up a meeting with an accommodations advisor for me.
In the meeting, the advisor discussed how much extra time I would need on exams (at my school, they call it a “time multiplier” which ranges from anywhere between 1.5x to 4x extra time), if I had any special needs during my exam, or if I required any technology with me to help me write my exams. I went with the lowest time multiplier available to me (1.5x) and I simply required that I be allowed to use my noise-canceling headphones.
The advisor assured me that that was possible and even asked me if I wanted to get funding for having other kinds of technology to help me write my exams. It was really nice to know such a place existed and that there was a place on my campus that was willing and able to provide such a service to students who really need it.
Although I wasn’t even using all the capabilities and amenities of having accommodations, it was so nice to know it was available to me.
Finalmente alloggi Misophonia!
After quite a long process, I finally got my accommodations! Ever since that day when I received accommodations, taking exams is a lot less stressful in many ways.
Accommodations take the test anxiety to a much lower and manageable level since I don’t have to worry so much about my activating sounds bothering me. Having more time to do my exams is also so incredibly useful since I no longer feel as much of a rush of adrenaline, almost as if I were running a timed marathon.
Currently, I have a 1.5x time multiplier on my exams, the capability to bring noise-canceling headphones, and, more recently, I met with my advisor to add a white noise machine! Yes, a white noise machine! They actually have those for students with other sound sensitivity conditions as well and let me tell you, it has been an absolute game changer for writing my exams. Now I can have the sound of white noise with me during my exams which recreates a more familiar and comforting experience.
Additionally, I also have a 10 min/hr break as well as the possibility to only have one exam a day if two or more exams happen to fall on the same day. These services could vary from university to university, however, these are what is provided to me for each and every exam at my school. With accommodations, I am required to book all my exams for the semester through an online portal. On this portal, it asks that I mark which aspects of my accommodations I would like to utilize for each exam and it provides me information about where I need to go on campus to write the exam since I do not write in the same room as my peers.
Although it’s quite a journey to get accommodations (at least in my experience), the work is definitely worth it if you feel as though Misophonia is negatively affecting you in your academics and heavily weighing you down from doing the best you can and being the best student you can be! It’s as simple as a google search away from getting the help you need to feel more confident and relieved about having to deal with Misophonia at school.
“Anche se è un bel viaggio per trovare un alloggio... il lavoro ne vale sicuramente la pena se ti senti come se la misofonia ti stia influenzando negativamente nei tuoi studi accademici e ti stia pesantemente appesantendo dal fare del tuo meglio e dall'essere il miglior studente che puoi essere! ”
Come studenti con misofonia, a volte (o per la maggior parte del tempo) ci sentiamo molto repressi e debilitati dall'essere in grado di mostrare le nostre vere capacità accademiche a causa dello stress di dover affrontare l'attivazione dei rumori. Tuttavia, gli alloggi possono aiutarti molto a fornirti ciò di cui hai bisogno per ridurre l'ansia correlata alla misofonia durante il test, per offrirti un'esperienza complessiva più confortevole e, soprattutto, per aiutarti a impegnarti come studente.